#feels great being able to write these again
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Hello there! I have to say, I really, really, REALLY LOVE your Kindergarten au. Little Yanderes as noisy children and MC as a Teacher who is not being paid enough XD.
Feel free to ignore if it's uncomfortable for you!
This is my first time asking so sorry if I am bothering you, But how will the mini yanderes react if they were kissed in the lips, not in a romantic way but like a parent showing love and care <3
how Mini!Yanderes react when MC kisses them¡!
A/N; even if MC kissed them like a parent the yanderes would hear wedding bells so JASHJHSAJS also the thought of an adult kissing a child on the lips is a bit weird to me so i will change it to kisses on cheek or forehead. i was listening ddlc soundtrack to write this AND SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG
Pairing(s); "Mini!Yanderes" and GN!Reader
CW; this is actually fluff / need to remark MC just see the little yans as kids they need to take care of, no one has special treatment
Sunny Day Jack.
Jack would be the one to take the initiative, in this case, the first time he kissed MC's cheek would have been during the school photo.
Early spring, all the children had arrived well-groomed to the classroom, MC finished combing John Doe's hair while the professional photographer adjusted his camera in position, the children moved from one side to the other, except Jack.
Jack finished adjusting his bowtie, very dedicated to being the most handsome child in the photo.
Finally MC gathered them all in different rows, placing themselves behind in the center.
"I will only take it once so if you need to go to the bathroom or sneeze do it now." Said the cameraman in a listless voice, no one had any protests or urgency so he raised his hand, specifically 3 fingers.
"Three… Two… One." A flash of photography dazzled them, the curious little ones ran towards the man to be able to appreciate the photograph.
And then they saw in the photo how Jack had jumped and pulled his teacher's arm to kiss their cheek, causing several students to immediately cry.
As for Jack's reaction:
He considers himself a winner, he probably looks for other ways to ask for kisses since MC is quite open about giving affection to his students, nothing too overwhelming.
Can't stop thinking about their future as a married couple.
A manipulative bastard will surely fake accidents or work twice as hard on his tasks to get that reward.
John Doe.
John Doe is a student who needs sensitivity, but don't give him too many kisses on the forehead or you'll overwhelm him.
A day like any other, the class activity required flour and water, something simple to mold and non-toxic since many of the students love to put things in their mouths, so full of curiosity.
MC finished helping everyone create their mixtures, Keith finished making flowers with his dough while Tenebris ate it.
The children learned and had fun, it was comfortable.
Until some sobs made the teacher run to where a little long-haired boy, John Doe, who couldn't stop crying, the dough had gotten stuck in his hair.
Of course, prepared for any occasion, MC took the little boy to the bathroom to wash off all the dough, which fortunately wasn't as sticky as the time Peter put gum in Mycheal's hair.
"There you go, see? Simple, are you okay, Doe? Don't cry, everything is fixed now." MC comforted their student with hugs and coos, kissing Doe's forehead.
"Again?" He asked with those huge eyes full of tenderness, MC gave more kisses on her student's forehead, who asked for more and more between laughs.
They had to stop when they realized that Doe was convulsing with happiness on the floor, it did scare them.
As for Doe's reaction:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
He reacts in an exaggerated way, with adorable and loud giggles, hugs, red cheeks, his happiness is evident.
He is like a cat with dilated pupils and he scares MC.
Alan Orion.
Great project for class! Alan and his mom drew a picture of the solar system and he was in an astronaut suit, he didn't learn half of the names of the planets but it was enough to get a kiss.
The theme for that day was to draw a picture of things they want to do when they grow up, Alan carried his drawing to the board while holding it up over his head.
"I'm going to be an astronaut and walk in the stars!" he commented proudly.
"Very good, Alan, come here." MC called him over to place a star-shaped sticker on his drawing.
Alan tilted his head towards the teacher, subtly indicating what he wanted and of course the teacher didn't deny it, kissing the little boy's head.
As for Alan's reaction:
He loves praise, especially from his favorite teacher, and will keep a smile on his face for the rest of the day.
He will seek further validation from MC in other aspects.
Whenever he finishes a new activity he points his head up in anticipation of kisses.
Peter Dunbar.
One day he got sick and didn't got a kiss like everyone else.
Peter was confused, why were his classmates laughing at him while he sat in his spot?
Jack walked over with his arms crossed and a grin from ear to ear.
"Yesterday teacher MC gave us all a kiss." he said mockingly.
Of course Peter immediately ran crying to the teacher to get a kiss on the forehead.
As for Peter's reaction:
He was so upset with himself for getting sick and with the others for getting a kiss before him, he cried for 2 hours.
He asked MC for many make-up kisses, which led to the others asking for a kiss as well.
Peter bit and kicked the ones who came up to ask for a kiss, and ended up being punished.
Ren.
You don't need to be good at naming colors or good at sports when you're smart to win.
Play in the garden! All the kids were very excited, especially Ren, who got the lead role, he was a prince, surely that would delight MC, he had rehearsed so much to be the perfect prince.
The play was pretty simple, he had to dance with a girl and although that wasn't in his plans he couldn't push her off the stage or MC would think he wasn't chivalrous.
The exact minute after the play ended Ren snatched the crown from the girl's head and ran after MC.
"Teacher! Teacher! I have something for you, can I put it on you?" He asked batting his eyelashes.
MC didn't wonder where the other crown came from, they assumed the girl gave it to Ren since… Well, it's Ren. The teacher knelt down with a smile and bowed their head to allow the little boy to place the crown.
They were surprised with a tender kiss on the lips, making them gasp and quickly get up, the crown was on their head... but Ren had stolen a kiss from them!
The little boy was blushing, so happy that he couldn't stop giggling.
It was a shame that there were so many eyes looking at him with great anger at that moment.
As for Ren's reaction:
He was so happy, how could he not be? He had beaten all those losers in the classroom
He made enemies but he tries to maintain a good reputation with MC
The bad thing is that he couldn't steal more kisses from MC because now his teacher was more careful when he was around.
Mycheal.
Flowers are pretty but you are not allowed to pick them from the school garden.
It was early in the morning, not all the children had arrived yet to start class, MC arranged their notebooks and prepared the lesson for that day, while Mycheal walked through the garden looking for flowers to give to his teacher.
He knew that was not allowed but the best flowers were always there, since MC watered the plants every day, so considerate!
Finally he reached the rose bush, that was always dangerous because many times he tried to take them because of how beautiful they were but it hurt a lot, the thorns were terrible.
But today he would do it! A little pain was nothing compared to his teacher's laughter.
The little blond crouched in front of the bush and held a couple of roses, taking a deep breath when the thorns embedded themselves in his skin and he began to pull.
Harder and harder until his body fell on his back, tears came out of his eyes but he smiled when he saw a pair of red roses in his hands.
"Teacher! Teacher! Look what I made for you!" He was so proud of his bouquet that he was unable to see MC's worried face.
"Mycheal, you know you shouldn't pick flowers from the garden… Come, let's put them in a vase and heal your hands." MC said, taking the little boy's little hands to give kisses to his palms, which were bleeding a little because of the thorns.
As for Mycheal's reaction:
Mycheal learned to use gloves to pick flowers, but he can't do it anymore or he'll get punished.
Now he gets into fights on purpose to get kisses on his wounds.
He's also gotten kisses thanks to sharing his lunch with MC.
Keith and Tenebris.
Nap time in the garden, but there are always a couple of kids who don't sleep.
All the little ones were resting on the padded floor, covered by blankets after MC read them a story…
All except Keith and Tenebris of course, the twins were sitting near MC, Keith wanted more stories while Tenebris just wanted hugs.
Their teacher decided to read the story of "Sleeping Beauty", a simple story with a happy ending, he got to the part where the princess was woken up with a kiss, which gave Tenebris an idea.
The boy stood up and ran straight to the wall, crashing into it and falling to the ground, although he didn't use that much force it did scare MC, who didn't understand why the boy did that.
"Tenebris needs a kiss to wake up." The boy whispered with his eyes closed, waiting for said kiss.
Although ridiculous, it was also adorable so the teacher bent down to kiss the little boy's forehead.
"Me too! Me too!" Keith whimpered, clinging to his teacher's arm before receiving a kiss on his forehead.
As for Keith and Tenebris's reaction:
They discovered that they will get more affection if they make a truce, both asking for kisses at the same time to get double the affection.
They also both ask for kisses from MC behind the other's back.
Now they always try to stay awake during nap time, so the other students won't bother MC.
Solivan Brugmansia.
Spring event, it's time to bring out your artistic talents! But not in the case of the teacher.
MC had ordered their students to draw a picture of the things they liked most about spring, a simple activity to celebrate the beginning of spring, they were allowed to use crayons, paints, watercolors, chalk…
"Doe, don't eat the colors!" They ran towards the curious child who was trying to put a color in his mouth.
Being a teacher wasn't easy and although most of his students drove them crazy they had to admit that it was adorable.
Time passed, slowly while the children concentrated, it was strange that there was so much silence but not inopportune, the teacher decided to walk around their students to supervise their work, stopping behind Sol.
He had drawn a garden, it seemed that in the background were the horses and… MC?
The teacher sighed, stroking the boy's head and kissing his cheek, he just hoped that his parents wouldn't come to the festival asking weird questions because of how attached Sol seemed to be to him.
As for Sol's reaction:
He still doesn't understand why his parents worry when he draws his teacher, he loves MC!
Prone to developing praise kink.
His artistic skills would evolve thanks to his obsession with drawing MC, which would lead to more compliments and more kisses, clever, huh?
Damon.
Time to go out and play! Sometimes tears bring good things.
The whole group followed the teacher in a row, like baby ducks following their mother, they were on their way to the playground in the kindergarten, holding hands so as not to get lost of course.
They all made a circle on the field while MC prepared the game for the day, nothing too complicated.
In the end they decided to play soccer, nothing serious, just a bunch of little kids kicking the ball around each other.
It could have been entertaining if it weren't for the fact that Damon kept trying to catch the ball with his mouth, it made some people laugh but MC was worried, the real problem came when Ren tried to kick the ball while Damon was so close to catching it with his teeth.
Fortunately there was no blood but there were tears from little Damon, who cried and cried with his arms up, wanting to be carried by MC.
MC told them to keep playing while they tended to Damon, taking him to the infirmary where they made sure to hold him in their arms and caress his sweet little cheeks so that the swelling would go down.
His teacher kissed his head lovingly.
"There, there, there… Are you feeling better, Damon? It's over, don't worry, but you should know that you shouldn't use your mouth in a game where your legs are used, understood?"
As for Damon's reaction:
He understands that injuries mean kisses and cuddles from MC, prone to getting into fights to get more and then blaming Peter.
He's like a puppy, always rubbing his head against MC for attention.
He asks for kisses every day, if he doesn't get them he'll instantly sob like a pup.
#yandere visual novel#yandere#somethings wrong with sunny day jack#swwsdj#sunny day jack#john doe game#john doe visual novel#john doe#14dwy ren#14 days with you#my dear hatchet man#mycheal#mushroom oasis#duality keith#duality game#duality tenebris#solivan brugmansia#the kid at the back vn#tkatb sol#br0ken colors damon#br<3ken colors#yb peter#your boyfriend game
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STRANGE ADDICTION
➻ 01. BEAUTIFUL DEATH
a/n: i have rewritten this chapter about two times just to get it right. i want it to feel like the show, but also i'm a perfectionist when it comes to posting in a new fandom. this story has been in my head since s1 dropped and well it feels great to finally put it somewhere. even if the love for silco has sorta died down. i've had the most fun writing this so i hope you enjoy!
summary: dinner with an old friend leads to revelations about your past. about whether you chose the right path - the future meant for you. or if time indeed stands still beyond what science and magic tells you.
word count: 4.5k+
pairing: silco x f!reader; viktor x f!reader (platonic)
warnings: not explicit, angst, friendships, flashbacks, arguing, hesitation to tell the truth, pining (not by reader), the haunting of past relationships.
NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
The sun beat down harder than ever before. A bright scorching ball of light that seemed intent on searing through the fabric of your gown. Although you weren't entirely opposed, given the weight of the material that clung to your skin.
It seemed that the sun favored topside more than anywhere else. You'd known this for a while, your eyes fixed on the horizon at each turning of the clock. Dusk assumed its duties for the day, bringing forth the moon that hid until the time was right to reveal herself. Flames licked across the sky and suddenly you were a child again. Stunned by the magnificence and beauty of something so normal.
When you were younger you held the belief that only those in the grand city would be able to witness this. To watch as sunset broke along brilliant blue before sinking below—away from the towers of the grand house.
Although the term house felt humble and dishonest given the lavish setting. Castle seemed like a better word. Or kingdom.
Piltover. The land of progress.
How ironic that just below the surface lay the vastness of a city that thrived on the opposite. You felt like royalty amidst the opulence around you. Someone who was crowned long ago by the people who deemed you worthy enough. Yet it wasn't that long ago that you were a young kid vying for a glimpse at a clear sky. Topside rarely accepted those that didn't belong; unsurprising but still a bitter disappointment.
How you managed to trick them—fool their wits—into allowing you access escaped you.
This felt too extravagant. So unlike the person you once knew. It felt fictional. A tale as old as time now finally bestowed upon someone like you.
"Unbelievable," you muttered, eyes wide at the brilliant orange that painted itself over pinks and yellows.
A voice echoed in the distance, someone calling your name, and with a sigh you were pulled away from the ambience of this view. You preferred a chance to stay here but you recognized the lilt of his voice, the familiar drawl of his words. With a sigh you let go of the balcony railing and turned towards the room you were staying in. His room. He offered and gave no room for an argument.
That didn't stop you from trying.
"Dinner is being planned," he announced, balancing his weight on the cane held in his tight grip.
"All this trouble isn't necessary." Pulling the chair by his bed close, you took the opposite one with a grin. "I'm not that important."
He huffed, long and loud enough to keep you quiet. "I don't see you often enough. Dinner is the least I can do."
"Viktor–" His hand went up before you could state your case—the argument ready to fly off the tip of your tongue.
"I've argued with you enough over the years to know when you will start." His smile is warm, an old piece of the past that still resides in the back of your mind.
"I call that an unfair advantage," you muttered.
"I would call it strategy."
"Strategy requires the mind of a politician," you joked. The words rolled out of your mouth with ease as you scrutinized the man before you.
He shrugged. "I've got politician friends."
"Right."
Over the years you often wondered where your paths might cross again. Where on the timeline of your lives Viktor would once more become your ally. You both found one another in your younger years—when things were simpler. The time in your life where you were starting to be recognized for your mind and him with his mind.
Two intellectuals forged in the fires of the Undercity. At one point in your life this might have felt humorous. Almost ironic.
Now you tried to grasp at what kept the two of you together. Especially since your step back away from the atmosphere of progress.
"I–"
"While you are here, would you mind—uh—looking over the research I have accumulated over the years of your absence?" The notebook he draws from the table beside him is crammed with scraps of paper. The binding was ready to burst at the seams. A sight that so utterly and undeniably the young man you met in the Undercity. "I trust your intelligence more than mine sometimes."
You could recall the hours spent pouring over books, each one filled with information you never thought you'd have the opportunity to learn. They brought the both of you closer to something that he felt would do the world some good. Knowledge was power in Piltover—you simply learned to utilize it for your own good. As a way to escape the past you tried your best to ignore.
Flipping to the first bookmarked page, you attempted to discern his writing. At times it was illegible, but you knew it better than yours. After years of looking at the same scratch marks and symbols, you were able to pick through Viktor's work with ease. Your heart stuttered at the research before you—the truth that rang silently in his hopeful expression.
"You want to find a power source?" you exclaimed, glancing up to see his eyes grow apprehensive.
Of course he would be wary about this. Every line scribbled, each night of hard work, all amounted to his life's legacy. The weight of his name was placed on loose pages and ink that bled between the compact journal. Running your finger over the foreign symbols etched onto each page and margin, you felt their power—the meaning behind each mark made.
"Viktor it's..." You wanted to call this emotion pride but the word felt minuscule given how much effort had been put into this. "Magnificent."
He grinned, settling back with a sigh of relief. "My partner Jayce—who you will meet tonight—has made a remarkable discovery."
"Remarkable is putting it lightly," you cut in, absentmindedly following the curve of the largest rune on the page, marking it in your memory.
Ducking his head, you watched his hands clasp together tightly, his thumb pressing against the pulse point of his wrist. "I have to do something...that will help."
That much you could understand.
"Ever since I've known you��" Shifting, you felt the skirt of your gown tug upwards—your leg exposed to the slight chill in the evening air. "You wanted to be remembered as a great scientist. Someone whose mind would be their legacy. I think you're closer to that than you think."
He scoffed. "I only told you that to stop the questions."
"About where you came from? Or something else."
The silence gave you enough of an answer. Explanations of his past came with little to no details. Merely stories that were fleeting, sinking beneath the depths long before you got a chance to figure them out entirely. He remained a mystery to you even now. Although...you couldn't say you were any different.
"Did you ever want that for yourself?" He leaned closer, his gaze attempting to pry beneath the depths of your mind.
"No," you breathed, catching one last glance at the sky. "It has always been better for my name to die with me."
"That I don't believe."
"No?" His eyes burned into the side of your face. A silent plea to finally let him in on the secret. To spill about the past you couldn't even accept for yourself.
Even as the years passed quicker than you could comprehend, Viktor never changed. Despite his age now surfacing across his face, he still felt familiar with each new slight wrinkle and faint mark that hadn't been there before. Beneath the fancy clothing and grim expression, he was still the boy you once knew. The ravenous scientist with a hunger to know more.
A man on a never ending journey for knowledge.
"You're brilliant," he said. "You always have been. I never quite understood why you chose to only be a..."
"A healer?" He nodded. "I didn't fit into Topside as smoothly as you did."
Whether he wished to admit it or not, the turmoil that tore through his body and mind was there. Hiding beneath the surface. Even as he refused to meet your gaze. Time may have intertwined you with him, but his dreams remained different—his hopes were vast enough to drag him away from the life you once knew.
Where he found the grandeur of a scientist working for someone brilliant, you found solace in your small shop surrounded with various concoctions and potions. A space that let you be the person you were always meant to be.
"You're talented enough to make a name for yourself. If you let me talk to the counsel–"
"No." The word sliced the air swiftly, silencing him with the sharp end of a whip.
He froze, drawing you out of the stupor your mind hastened to put you in. Upsetting him was the last thing you wanted, but you knew if he didn't stop now things would already be too late. Viktor had a tendency to escalate matters far more than necessary. It's why you were hesitant to even take his call—to give him leeway back into your life like this.
"Why?" he asked, his brows furrowed and eyes piercing through to the depths of your mind.
The answer lay at the back of your tongue—clear and ready to be pronounced with ease. But saying them out loud felt like a feat you'd never be able to manage.
"There are things in my past that are better left where they are," you replied, brushing off the way he looked at you.
A puzzle yet to be figured out. A math problem that held a solution to fix all that was broken.
But that was the thing...you couldn't be fixed. There remained no potion, no herbal remedy that could heal what had torn you to shreds. Who shattered you beyond repair.
Viktor left to pursue his Topside dreams—his pride in himself larger than anything you'd seen. Yet you remained behind. You stayed in the darkness of the Undercity with the promise to one day find him—to celebrate your dreams together. But that was before the battle plans, before you were recruited to help heal those that couldn't heal themselves. Before...him.
When it came down to it, you found yourself in a life far different from the one you dared to imagine with Viktor. The intention to follow him still existed somewhere as a fading dream that might never come true. But once you grew up, saw the world for how it was, you understood why you would never receive the same welcome he did.
You were a soldier first above it all and that was the one thing he would never know.
The secret you held in the confines of your heart.
"My past is the same as yours," he said. "We come from the same land. Surely if they accepted me, they will do the same for you."
You didn't fall in love with the devil.
The words that would never see the sunlight of Topside.
Reaching forward, you pat his knee in a gesture that offered a friendship despite all the secrets. Viktor would do what he wished; you couldn't stop him. That had always been the way of things since you were younger and so it would remain.
Merely two people who once offered to save one another from the bleak aspect of a future ready to eat you alive. Yet now there you were as adults. Sitting close enough to be friends yet miles a part from where you originally started.
You snapped the notebook shut and handed it back to him with a reluctant smile. The distaste of keeping him in the dark was pungent in your mouth, but this choice wasn't up to you to decide. It was always a mutual agreement between two people that were forced to be parted. He wouldn't speak about what happened and you'd do the same.
You were always meant to become a ghost of the Undercity and he a ghost of Topside.
Two fates that were never to intertwine again.
"Tell me," you said, moving to the still open balcony doors. "What's your partner Jayce like?"
He straightened in the chair, relief crossing his face at the realization that he hadn't offended you by pushing too far.
"You will like him."
"Oh I don't know about that," you drawled, a sly smile crossing your lips. "Don't you recall the night of the dinner party?"
He cringed as the memory of that disastrous debacle came to mind. You got into it with a certain doctor he befriended—a man with an ego large enough to choke the very air out of any room. The night ended with you unceremoniously chucking your drink into the man's face to save yourself the harsh act of slapping him. You refused to see Viktor for weeks—your own self worth having been burnt to the ground and defiled.
"I did not know he was going to insult you the way he had."
Scoffing, you leaned your back against the balcony railing. "You knew he wasn't good."
"Unfortunately that I did know." He stood on shaky legs, the clack of his cane against marble echoing off the walls as he joined you. "I can promise that Jayce is nothing like that."
"I'll determine that for myself." You sighed, glancing up at a darkened sky—the stars shimmering bright enough to rival the moon. "Besides, dinner is just us, right? Not a surprise interview to induct me into your hall of science. Because as flattered as I am–"
His laughter spilled over into your chest as he nudged your shoulder with his. "There will be no inducting. Not if you don't wish for it."
"Good." The clock across the room ticked away with expedited force—as if speeding up the flow of time to get you out of here. Yet you found yourself longing to stay, to remain in this small bubble. "Does he know who I am?"
"He knows what I've told him."
"All good I hope," you humored him, offering a placating smile that could be mistaken for charm. In the hopes that you'd make it through this night unscathed.
"There may have been a few stories." Swatting his shoulder, you ignored the shift he made towards you. "Are you okay?"
"Of course." You clutched the railing behind you until your knuckles hurt, your gut filled with the foreboding dread that came with treading the waters of your past. "I'm perfectly okay," you replied confidently.
Even if the words rang with the transparency of a lie.
Piltover at night held no comparison after witnessing the beauty of sunset. Yet after three glasses of wine and a dinner large enough to feed the village, you felt the thrill of excitement fill your chest at the thought of exploring parts you'd yet to see. Looping your arm around Viktor's you fell into step beside him—mere feet behind Jayce and a woman they introduced as Mel.
Of course, you knew who she was. Everyone in the city knew her name, but for the sake of a peaceful dinner void of any politics, you didn't make that fact obvious.
"It was a nice dinner," you said, the breeze off the water skimming the bare skin of your back.
"We should do it again." His voice remained steady, like a piece of home you never thought you'd get back. His eyes however...screamed something entirely different.
A divot in the road you weren't prepared for—one you didn't see yourself wanting.
"We should," you agreed, finding a spot against the railing. The blue of the ocean gleamed beneath the light of the moon. Truly Piltover at its finest. "Maybe next month?"
The irritated sigh slipped past his lips before he could reign it in, but that was all you needed to understand his intentions. You'd been afraid of this since you came to visit him the very first time. An execrable feeling weighed heavy in your stomach as time went on and his silence prevailed.
He stood beside you now with hope in his heart. The voices of Jayce and Mel faded into the background as they walked further away. And you were left with the friend you never wished to lose—the boy you longed to keep knowing.
"I haven't said—I should have said it already but–"
"Viktor," you interrupted, standing upright.
Suddenly the wine and the excessive amount of food didn't sound like a good idea after all. Your heart pounded against your chest, reverberating through your entire body—each nerve alight and waiting for the worst possible scenario to this outcome. He'd been your oldest friend, someone you counted on when you had no one else and the thought of ruining that left you feeling sick.
Each second he looked at you as if you held all the answers to what he pined for made your heart twist painfully.
With a shaky breath, you finally relented to the truth. "I can't."
"What do you mean?" His cheeks flushed vermilion as he fixed his gaze back to the water.
Shutting your eyes to collect your thoughts carefully, you sighed. "I know what you want me—us—to be and I can't...give that to you."
"Oh."
"I do care for you." Somehow the words echoed with hollow deceit, despite how true they felt in your heart.
"It's because of him."
You reared back, startled. "What?"
His eyes—plagued with sorrow deep enough to slice right through you—met yours waiting for a different answer. An explanation as to where your heart belonged. But you stood as still as stone—unable to form thoughts let alone coherent words. He ripped right down to the bone, pulled at your weak tendons and bit down on frayed nerves.
Yet he wasn't done.
"I'm not oblivious. When you finally came to Piltover you wouldn't tell me about what you did when I wasn't there. I only assumed you had feelings for someone. A man you didn't wish to speak about."
You exhaled slowly—the icy chill of relief swallowing you whole. "Oh...yes I...there was someone."
"Do you still love him?"
Glancing across the water, you glimpsed the bridge standing tall—a beacon of this city's hope for progress. But to your eyes it felt like a separation—a division between the two worlds of your life. One filled with enough pain to leave you staggering where you stool and other...a world of grandeur that overflowed with the option of peace.
At one point you had wanted to watch it burn. His betrayal tainted everything good about that place. A scar carved deep enough to leave an everlasting wound that never healed. You longed to forget it—to rid yourself of the memories he plagued—but you still knew one day...you'd stand upon that same ground again.
"I don't know," you breathed, the past clawing its way up your throat—shoving towards the very front of your mind.
BEFORE
The streets were overrun with people as they moved and flowed like the waves on a shore. You felt shoulders knock into you, exasperated glances thrown your way as you fumbled with the plants still gripped in your hands. They grew at the edge of the bridge—hidden in the shadows as a safeguard from the sun. Dirt packed itself beneath your fingernails, mud coating the thin fabric of your pants from where you dug.
"You should really have that looked at," you grumbled, shoving the plant into your satchel.
Garnering no response, you were left to get lost in your own thoughts. Whether or not he was actually in pain didn't concern you. Not when you had a job given by Vander who insisted you focus solely on healing rather than fighting. It's not as if you entirely disagreed with him—you were more than happy being a healer rather than a soldier—you simply couldn't figure how this would help in the long run.
What exactly were you supposed to do when people acted stubborn and brash?
"What are you writing?" he barked, stopping abruptly. You rammed into him with a sneer.
"Nothing that's of any concern to you." Shoving your pen and notebook into the bag, you watched as he huffed in response, turning away. "I'll tell you again since you seem to be hard of hearing. You should really have your wound–" He stopped, eyes flashing over his shoulder with a glare. “–looked at."
"You sure do talk a lot," he snipped.
"It's a gesture of kindness. You don't have to be an ass about it."
How did you manage to get stuck with this man? You were more than capable of sneaking around the border of Topside without anyone's help. Vander assigning you an escort seemed synonymous with the actions of an older brother being overly protective. Yet you weren't related in any way shape or form—you were simply someone who understood the need for change.
Arguing would get you nowhere and so you did your best to ignore his quick glances. Coming up with a correct judgment for what you found took precedence over the man in front of you.
The heat of the day seeped into your clothes—sticking to your exposed skin—the longer you trekked back. If it were possible to steal some time, you'd search for that small pool you and Viktor used to play at—just to submerge yourself in cold water. But with a guard at your side, you were left with only one option. Dreaming about weather cooler than this.
"You're walking too slow," he called over his shoulder.
The desperation for escape called to you, begged you to leave him behind and go somewhere quiet. But before you could sprint in the opposite direction, he turned. Ignoring him didn't seem to be a well thought out solution, but that never stopped you from trying. Even as he glared at you.
What little sunlight remained began to dip below the horizon—a sight you'd neve grow tired of. If only you had the chance to see it over the ocean with a clear sky above.
"You need that fixed before we return." Avoiding the incensed glare directed your way, you settled on the edge of a wall.
"What I need is for you to keep going. So I can go home."
"Listen—whoever you are—I know that when you return you're going to be questioned about why you're in pain. Either you let me patch up that wound or you get Vander. Your pick."
The arguing ceased with a defiant raise of your brows, lips curling into a sly grin that pinned him where he stood. There really was no other option than submission. What was a quick check before you were on your merry way. Much to your delight, he seemed to come to the same conclusion as he joined you on the wall, undoing his vest with an indignant sigh.
Silence filled the empty space between you. Slipping between the cracks and shadows that cast across his angular face. You'd seen him before on the edge of your vision, leaning against the bar with a book in his face—long fingers trailing the rim of his glass absentmindedly. Whether you liked it or not, the two of you differed.
Where you wanted to roam, he longed to be back making plans with Vander instead of trapped in the task of guard duty for a healer he'd never met before.
"Who shot you?" The glow of sunset illuminated the pale skin beneath his shirt—a long jagged scar etched into the skin threw you off for a moment as your fingers searched for blood.
The sharp wince in his face said you'd found it. "I couldn't see their face."
Nodding, you moved his hand to keep the fabric up and out of the way. A quick rummage in your bag for the salve you made earlier caught his attention—turquoise gleamed in your peripheral, prying you open with enough ease to jar you down to the bone.
"The bullet only scraped you. This should help close it up by the end of the week." You pressed the dark mixture along his wound, catching the subtle flinch he tried to smother. "Sorry."
"I'm fine," he mumbled in a whispered tone.
"I can fix it up properly when we return. Get you a real bandage to keep it from getting worse."
You nearly missed it. That slow imperceptible grin that curled at the edge of his lips. But your eyes latched onto it like a kid with candy, savoring the quick glimpse of something surreal. It threw you off balance, forced you to reckon with the thought of never knowing him before today.
Ethereal. Empyrean.
He sat before you a stranger with the eyes of a fond ally. A friend you had yet to be properly introduced to. It seemed he harbored the same thought—his mouth forming the question as if it fell right out of your head and into his lap.
"You're a friend of Vander?" Slipping his vest back on, you noticed he left it unbuttoned.
You found you preferred it that way.
"So are you. I've seen you...uh...with him. Around the bar you know."
The quiet echo of the water lapping at rocks and voices in the distance didn't feel bitter, but rather settled the nerves leaping beneath your skin. It was nice to sit there and watch the night sky show itself to the world once again. Eventually you'd be forced to return to a life that teemed with a clear understanding that hung over everyone's heads. There would be a fight. An inevitable battle for what you believed was right.
But for this transcendent moment you basked in the few moments of peace life allotted you.
The calm before the storm.
"I don't know your name," you admitted, turning your head slightly to catch his gaze already faced in your direction. "Vander never told me."
If he caught you in the middle of a blatant lie, he didn't call you on it. You could tell he saw right through you—the glint in his eyes shining brighter than moments before. This wasn't a clarification for Vander's sake or the battle. You wanted to know his name for yourself. A small token of the man you may never interact with again save for tonight.
After a moment his voice came with a soft breath of air. "Silco."
Teeth dug into your lip to keep the blooming smile at bay. "Silco," you said under your breath.
He latched onto it, dug his fingers into the tangible feeling they created in his chest, and felt a smile pulling wider at his own mouth. You said it again, unable to stop yourself as a thrill of excitement fluttered at the base of your stomach. So simple, so smooth off the tip of your tongue. Yet filled with enough power to stir your chest with a feeling you wished to inspect further.
The lilt of it hung in the air as you turned back to the sky with a satisfied hum, relishing in the time you had left with him at your side.
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Max' older brother who charles has had a crush on since they first met, where charles figures out that older brother has been holding back in raceing so their dad focuses on him so he doesnt hurt max, and charles is in awe because older brother could have made it into formula 1 a while ago and charles doesnt think hed be able to do something like that if it were him, so charles decides to help male reader as much as he can without being noticed.
I had someone else try and write this to see if theyd been as enthusiastic as you in writing it but no its like they didnt understand the ask @/playinbillie if you want to see what they wrote. Also this was kinda one of the two stories i had for you i didnt actually know the pairing i wanted for this one so i just made it charles, but the other is a oliver x kimi x male reader.
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Unspoken sacrifice — Charles Leclerc x male!reader
Word count— 1777
Fluff slightly angsty
The sound of the engines roaring around the track echoed through Charles' chest as he sat in the stands, his gaze fixed on the cars speeding past. But his attention wasn’t on the race; it was on him—Y/N.
Max's older brother. The one who could’ve been great.
For years, Charles had watched from the sidelines as Y/N, despite his obvious talent, kept himself from rising through the ranks of racing. Every time they’d go karting, every practice session, Y/N would leave everyone in the dust—except for Max. The family dynamic was always clear. Their dad, a former racer himself, was invested in Max. Obsessed with Max.
But Y/N? He was always the silent presence in the background, holding back in ways that didn’t make sense to Charles at first. There was something about Y/N’s racing that seemed... off. Too controlled, too careful, like he was playing a different game entirely. Charles hadn’t realized why until recently.
It was after one of the practice races, as he sat next to Y/N on the cool metal bleachers, watching Max celebrate his victory with their dad, that it clicked.
“Y/N, why didn’t you go for the win?” Charles had asked, his brow furrowing.
Y/N gave him that knowing smile, one that always seemed to hide more than it let on. “Because he needs to be the one who shines. Max... he’s the one Dad focuses on. You know that.”
Charles stared at him, confused. “But you— you could’ve taken that first place. You’ve always been better than me, better than Max.”
Y/N’s gaze shifted toward the ground, his voice quiet. “Sometimes the best thing you can do is step back.”
Charles frowned, his mind racing. “But why? Why hold back? You could’ve been in Formula 1 by now. Why give that up?”
Y/N was silent for a moment, the weight of the years they’d spent together suddenly sinking in. “Because, Charles, if I push too hard, Dad would want me to push Max harder, too. And Max isn’t ready for that. He’s not me. I’d rather see him succeed than risk seeing him burn out.”
Charles was stunned. He hadn’t realized how much Y/N had sacrificed—not just his dreams, but his entire future—for the sake of his younger brother. It wasn’t just about racing. It was about family, about love, about keeping Max safe.
And it broke Charles’ heart.
The thought of his older brother never having the chance to race for real, to chase that Formula 1 dream, made him feel a sharp ache in his chest.
"That's... that's really something, Y/N," Charles said quietly, feeling an overwhelming surge of admiration for the older brother he'd never truly understood before.
Y/N shrugged, a bittersweet smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “It’s what family does, right? You put them first.”
But Charles wasn’t sure if that was enough anymore.
He’d never be able to do what Y/N had done. He would never have the strength to hold back when it mattered, to throw away his own potential for someone else. Y/N had given everything, and Charles had only just realized it.
And now, watching Y/N quietly fade into the background again, Charles made a decision.
“I’m going to help you, Y/N,” Charles said suddenly, surprising even himself. “I don’t know how yet, but I will. I won’t let you fade into the background.”
Y/N looked over at him, a surprised yet knowing look crossing his face. “Charles, you don’t need to—”
“I know,” Charles interrupted, his voice firm. “But I want to.”
Y/N gave a small chuckle, ruffling Charles' hair. “You don’t have to do anything for me, kid. You’ve got your own career to focus on.”
Charles didn’t reply, his mind already planning how he could work in the shadows, how he could help his brother rise again without anyone noticing. Without Max ever knowing.
He wouldn’t let Y/N’s sacrifices be in vain.
And maybe, just maybe, they could still achieve the dream Y/N had set aside for so long.
Over the next few weeks, Charles found himself subtly changing the way he approached his time with Y/N. Every practice session, every karting weekend, he was paying more attention—not just to his own racing, but to his older brother’s every move.
It wasn’t hard to see how much Y/N was holding back. He wasn’t just playing it safe; he was actively limiting his own performance, choosing more cautious lines, braking earlier, and settling for second or third place when he easily could’ve taken the win.
It frustrated Charles more than anything. Watching Y/N squandering his potential, doing exactly what he’d done his entire life: taking a step back for the sake of someone else.
And it made Charles feel helpless. He wanted to shout, to demand that Y/N race to his fullest, that he deserved more than the life of a background player. But he couldn’t. He understood now why Y/N was doing it. He’d made that sacrifice for Max—and maybe even for their father. It wasn’t just about being in the spotlight; it was about keeping the family dynamic intact.
But Charles wasn’t going to let it go on forever.
One night, after a particularly difficult race where Y/N had barely edged out Max for a second-place finish, Charles made up his mind. He needed a plan. He needed to help Y/N, even if he had to do it in secret.
"Y/N," Charles said casually as they were cleaning up their gear, the two of them alone in the garage. Max was off with their dad, discussing strategies for his next race. "Have you ever thought about going to some of those off-season testing events? The ones where they bring in reserve drivers, or... younger talents?”
Y/N gave him a sideways glance, his expression unreadable. “I’ve been to a few. A long time ago. But you know as well as I do, they won’t give me the time of day. Not with Max in the picture.”
“I think you’re wrong.” Charles smiled, trying to hide the excitement bubbling up in him. “What if I can get you into one of those events? Just a test run, no pressure. I’ll set it up.”
Y/N gave him a bemused look. “And how exactly are you going to pull that off? You don’t have the connections—"
Charles leaned in closer, his voice low but confident. "I do now."
For the next few weeks, Charles worked quietly behind the scenes, making calls and sending messages to everyone he knew—engineers, team managers, even his own contacts within the F1 world. It wasn’t easy. Y/N wasn’t exactly a household name, and most people were only interested in the young stars, not a 25-year-old with years of untapped potential. But Charles didn’t care about the odds.
He couldn’t let Y/N’s talent slip away, not when he knew what his brother could truly do.
It was a month later when Charles finally received the response he’d been waiting for—a private testing session for a mid-tier team looking to give fresh talent a shot. It wasn’t Formula 1, not yet, but it was a step in the right direction. A foot in the door.
He waited until the perfect moment, when Y/N wasn’t expecting it, and told him about the opportunity.
“Y/N, I got you a test with an F1 team. You’re going to drive at their private session next week.”
Y/N blinked, looking at him as though Charles had just said something absurd. “What?”
“I did. You’re driving for them next week.”
At first, Y/N didn’t believe it. He laughed, like Charles was making a joke at his expense. But the more Charles pushed, the more he explained how hard he’d worked to arrange it, how he’d bent a few rules and called in a few favors, the more Y/N’s expression shifted from confusion to disbelief to... gratitude.
But even then, Y/N hesitated. "Charles, you know I’m not—"
“You are ready,” Charles cut him off, standing firm. “I know it. I know you could’ve made it into F1 years ago if you’d wanted to. I won’t let you give up on it.”
There was a long silence. Then, slowly, Y/N nodded, a quiet smile tugging at his lips. "Alright. But you better not tell Max about this. He’ll never forgive me if he finds out.”
Charles grinned. “Deal.”
The week of the test, Y/N’s nerves were palpable, though he tried to hide them. As they stood by the track, Charles watched him suit up, a wave of pride crashing over him. His brother was about to show the world what he could really do—and no one would know who had pushed him there.
Charles knew it wasn’t enough just to get Y/N the test. The hard part was making sure Y/N knew he had someone in his corner. Someone who believed in him—not as the background player or the second-best brother, but as the talented, driven racer he’d always been.
The test went better than Charles could have hoped. Y/N drove like he was born for it. Fast, fearless, and precise, he outpaced every expectation. By the end of the session, the team’s engineers were already talking about bringing him back for more testing.
But Charles didn’t want to get ahead of himself. This wasn’t the finish line. This was just the beginning.
As they packed up to leave, Y/N clapped him on the shoulder, a grateful, somewhat overwhelmed look in his eyes.
“Thanks, Charles,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what to say... I didn’t think I’d ever get a shot like this.”
Charles smiled, the weight of the unspoken promise hanging between them. “You don’t have to say anything. Just keep driving. I’ll make sure you get there.”
The next few months passed in a blur. Y/N’s performance in the test had caught the attention of several teams, and before long, he was back on the radar. Charles helped when he could, keeping things quiet and making sure that Y/N’s success stayed under the radar. Max never knew what had really happened. And Y/N, though hesitant, slowly began to believe that maybe—just maybe—he could make it to Formula 1 after all.
But it wasn’t just about racing anymore. It was about a bond between brothers, one that went beyond the track. A bond that said: I’ve got your back, no matter what.
#f1#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x oc#formula one x y/n#faiths inboxes📥📨#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x male reader
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One of the many things which make Zhou Yichen's journey to find his lost love so hauntingly beautiful and profound is the juxtaposition of Zhao Yuanzhou becoming one of those thousands soul falling into the sea and sinking into deep sleep, kept in a limbo-like state, where he dreams a recurring nightmare of neverending loss and loneliness, and Zhou Yichen restlessly searching for him day and night without any respite. In fact, it's extremely poignant that his search begins in the middle of the night, with him desperately racing through the darkness. The circle of night turning into day and vice versa constantly repeats itself, but he never stops, from the deepest night until the break of day, he never ceases in his search for him.
He goes up hil and down dale, letting nothing stand in his ways, constantly roaming and traversing two worlds, going to the edge of both of them, undeterred in the face of constant failure, persisting and soldiering on, endlessly chasing after the impossible hope and dream of seeing Zhao Yuan Zhou once more, not resting until he finds him, since any other option would destroy him and turn the shattered pieces of his heart into dust. Because, yes, he never sleeps during the pursuit of ZYZ's soul.
He used to be an insomniac boy who feared falling asleep because of dreams of himself turning into a demon, then he spent almost a decade not being able to dream, and now he becomes an insomniac, who does not sleep nor dream, again because he fears never finding the demon he fell in love with.
And it's at dawn, when the first rays of light break through the darkness of the night, when Zhao Yuanzhou, whose soul which fell asleep wakes up at daybreak, comes to find him, just as ZYC told Li Lun, even the separation comes to pass and the lovers reunite again, and that's everything. The night ends and with it the nightmare, the beautiful dream Zhao Yuanzhou used to dream returning by becoming a reality.
While watching Zhou Yichen's looking for him, the few working braincells that weren't drowning in tears back then kept asking how can he search so long without packing any food on his trip. It took me two days to realise that as a great demon he now doesn't need to drink nor eat and his demon blood allows him to forgo sleep for days on end, so once again, it's his demonic nature, his choice to become a great demon, that helps him to find his beloved. The sheer brilliance of the writing!
The insane willpower, deep devotion and love that never allows Zhou Yichen to give up or falter in his quest are so unbelievable powerful and fate-defying that they feel like an obsession, in fact, they are, making him extremely similar to Cheng Huang and Li Lun. The only thing keeping him from walking down their path is his kind heart keeps him from leaving a trail of innocent lives behind, it's an obsession lacking selfishness and the need to control and possess.
Still not over the fact that Li Lun's unique power was literal possession and the only person he could never possess in every sense of the word once they broke up was the one he wanted the most, ZYZ, which hurt him even more because he had him once and lost him. Only for Zhao Yuanzhou pretty much giving himself to Zhou Yichen willingly and eagerly, be it his life or flying straight into his arms in the end.
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Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.
#tbh i also feel a little annoyed that all the league jayvik fans were right all along#i always rolled my eyes like oh shush changing the characters doesnt mean ruining them#and here we are#boo boo the fool jpeg#arcane spoilers#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane critical#negative#ranting#text#long post
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Madoka Magica x Arcane parallels
I keep saying it, but I'll say it again: JAYCE/ HOMURA PARALLELS IN ARCANE SEASON 2? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU'D THINK!
I love Madoka Magica, I love Arcane, and I can't stop drawing connections in my mind about how Jayce and Homura, despite being very different people in very different settings, go through a very similar situation. So, here are all the ways that Homura and Jayce parallel each other, and where the biggest difference lies!
1- Both Homura and Jayce spent a great deal of time and effort trying to save someone dear to them, defying the laws of nature without thinking twice (and ruining their own lives in the process). Homura traps herself in a time loop for Madoka, defying time and fate, and Jayce turns to the arcane for help to revive Viktor, against the law of nature. They put aside everything else for those two, chasing an end goal that is doomed from the start.
2- Both do this with single-minded focus and without thinking about possible consequences, which ends up leading to more pain for the very people they're trying to save in the long run. Each one of Homura's attempts to save Madoka tied more and more karmic strings around her, ultimately sealing her fate. In hastily using the hexcore to save Viktor, Jayce ends up fusing him to it, which permanently changes him, physically and mentally, in ways he would never have agreed to before.
3- Both Homura and Jayce have to face their loved ones leaving them behind and ascending to Godhood, against all of their attempts to save them and make everything go back to how it used to be. And although both Viktor and Madoka had noble goals in mind and were doing what they thought would be best for everyone, Viktor is misguided in his ideal of evolution, while Madoka is actually vindicated by the narrative. Also, Viktor's change comes less of his own will, while hers is entirely her own. Also 2, both have that ethereal space imagery tied to their God forms. Funny.
The conclusion reached by Homura and Jayce differs. Since Madoka was a benevolent force, Homura's defiance of her will is a selfish act, and she becomes a villain by the end of Rebellion. She decides she doesn't care what it takes, as long as she can still have Madoka, with no regard for her own feelings. But Viktor's actions were wrong, so the moral thing to do was stop him, and Jayce is in the right at the end of their story. He finally accepts his own mistakes and is able to help Viktor, and chooses to face the consequences of their actions alongside him.
Homura can't accept this ending after chasing after a goal for so long, while Jayce finally understands what he had to do, and embraces it. They parallel each other in their stories, but arrive at different conclusions; That is why Homura is a villain, while Jayce found redemption. Thanks for listening to my insane raving, I had a blast writing this.
#arcane#madoka magica#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#pmmm#homura akemi#jayce talis#madoka#viktor arcane
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sorry if you've discussed this before, but do you think ginny's quidditch talent came out of nowhere? it's a common criticism I see about her but I feel like that kind of overstates how much of a quidditch "star" she was at the beginning, like she was consistently described as good but not great until partway into hbp and I also think it makes sense she'd keep it a secret from her teasing brothers. but maybe they're right and I'm just biased towards defending ginny
thank you for the question, anon!
the short answer is - no, i think it's (just about) plausibly rendered in the books. i think the series gets away with it because:
the story is told from the perspective of a teenage boy aka peak obliviousness in corporeal form, so we see what harry sees (and harry notices big fat nothing)
there is an entirely adequate narrative explanation for ginny's sporting skills that most readers not operating in bad faith* can put together, as you suggest: ginny comes from a sporty family who are all good at quidditch; she is of middling-to-good seeking ability when she first joins the team in ootp; she then has a good few months flying several times a week where she would necessarily grow in confidence and experience, leaving her perfectly able to blossom in hbp in a high school sport where she is competing against other children. fine and dandy in my book.
also quidditch is a broadly dumb and pointless plot so ginny being good at it is just a fun extra that we don't need to deep too much because - let's be real - quidditch is a waste of page space.
*i say this because, most of the time, these takes come from those who don't like hinny as a pairing. which is entirely their right and prerogative! it personally doesn't float my boat to spend my days doing worst faith readings of the text in order to make the case against canon ships i don't like, but as this is a race to the bottom - we are all adults dissecting children's books written by a nasty spiteful woman rotting in her mouldy castle spouting slurs, after all - who am i to judge.
(i also suspect the 'ginny is good at quidditch out of nowhere' takes have enjoyed such a long shelf-life on eg. reddit because the films are still most people's primary reference for HP takes so complaints about them then get cast back on the books - and, in the films, ginny does in fact rock up in film 6 like she's mbappé, if mbappé had the charisma of an extraordinarily soggy bath mat.)
with that said... could it have done with a bit more foreshadowing? yes, probably. people who don't like hinny as a pairing and prefer another are never going to be convinced - that's fine! but here i am, a paid-up hinny supporter, and even i think ginny's character development is sometimes wanting, to a frustrating and problematic extent. good writing (usually) means showing not telling, and it's weird and lazy of jkr to be so slapdash about revealing this and other character details about ginny and other (often female) characters. i think it's particularly striking that jkr underserves characters (again, usually women) who exist to serve the emotional development of characters (usually men), rather than the mystery plot(s) that drive hp as a series. (wanted! tonks' personality! last seen making fake pig noses and being the only auror mad eye moody mentored as his successor, for no plot reason!)
while i'm not a die-hard adherent to the chekhov's gun principle, i think one of the strengths of many novels du jour - especially the nothing really happens postmodern novel that crowds the bookshop shelves these days - is that their conventions allow authors to add colour to characters without each tiny detail being pregnant with meaning and in service of a driving plot that must be marched forward at all times. that can be really nice! as readers, we like to get a sense of characters as well-rounded living breathing people who go for a wee and take the bins out and stick on an album because it slaps every now and then; in these novels, we're also happier with the idea that things can happen to characters beyond the protagonist that don't directly impact the plot or demand the protagonist knows more than their own very limited vantage point. you have more room to play with character as a result.
jkr, ofc, isn't that kind of author. jkr is in fact an author for whom everything about her characters serves the plot. this, after all, is the brain that brought you 'remus lupin' the werewolf, and named the bad-guy-turned-good-guy in a book using a big black dog as a red herring omen of death 'sirius black'. jkr wants her audience to notice clues and remember little details about characters because they might be significant later on. this is entirely her wont and - lupin and sirius aside - she's often very good at it. the hp books are all standalone mysteries, and, when they land, those mysteries slap. ginny being the culprit in CoS is a genuinely satisfying resolution to the whodunit plot: this was reflected in critical reception at the time and was part of the reason why hp was able to be marketed as a children's book adults would also enjoy thereafter. there are also very satisfying foreshadowing and mystery plots that straddle the entire series and that reward the reader with reasonably good pay-off at the series end. (my favourite is the foreshadow within the foreshadow - e.g. regulus black barrelling back from ootp in DH, but then regulus' plot turning out to ultimately exist to foreshadow snape's own double agent status... delicious).
for my part, it's also what i want out of the fiction i read and the stories i try to write. i want everything to mean something. i want the weather, clothing, setting, body language etc to all do heavy lifting. i want character work to do work. it makes it fun for me to write and (i hope) it can it a bit more fun for the reader.
the problem is that while jkr is good setting up some mysteries, she is bad at others, and the romantic plot is one she falls down (a bit) on. she sets herself up for this: she wants to be a plot-centred mystery writer, so she does have an obligation to do better in how she deploys character details. jkr does to try to write the harry/ginny romance like a mystery, with little hints throughout the series up to the reveal of harry's feelings for ginny in HBP. (even ginny's full name is nominative determinism, finally revealed in DH once the reader has been told her place in the plot - ginevra, so guinnevre, the hero's queen). and while i will never not tire of pointing out to all of reddit that harry/ginny didn't come out of nowhere, and there is some satisfying foreshadowing knocking about here and there, i think it's fair to say that the harry/ginny build-up is not as satisfying as it could have been because jkr is basically lazier about the clues that ginny is the character harry will ultimately fall for, while she is much better at dropping clues for the series' central plot. that ginny ends the series with no real resolution of the primary tensions that motivate her other than her love of harry is probably the most acute example of this. but there's lots about her character where jkr phones it in a bit in fleshing her out or taking it to any logical conclusions or interesting plot directions. a smattering of examples:
ginny is the character who spends the entire series demanding to be included and not underestimated ends the series... with no real major role in the battle other than causing harry panic, while all other central characters receive a satisfying narrative arc that speaks to their central motivators across the series as a whole. (for an interesting discussion of what should have happened with ginny and the horcruxes, see here. i didn't even pay @saintsenara to write this!)
there are lots of shades of colour to ginny's character that are introduced pointlessly. i have previously talked about my beef with arnold the pygmy puff. we know ginny is popular but we know nothing of her friends who are all faceless plotless nobodies. we know ginny supports the all-womens quidditch team in a way that implies a nascent feminist politics after a childhood being excluded from playing a sport she loves by her brothers - yet we know nothing of it. we know ginny loves the one wizarding band that seems to exist because she has a poster of them on her wall and it just.... is something we just get told about her. now, all of these suggest ginny is a good time gal and a right laugh at the pub. and that's nice! i too am fun at the pub! but why does it matter? it wouldn't, in another series. but in a series where Everything Matters, it really stands out.
now..... i don't think all of this is an unsolveable problem for those of us writing fanfiction about ginny or harry and ginny as a couple. i don't think this makes ginny an inherently bad character. i hope the amount of life i have wasted thinking about this character is testament to this (...) and i personally find trying to cook up some fleshed-out characterisation and a satisfying arc for ginny, and for female characters more generally, from the crumbs of the original source material to be a very rewarding way to pass the time and a fuck you to a woman who thinks she can gatekeep womanhood while writing some astonishingly antifeminist fiction. i think harry and ginny are a deeply compelling and eminently plausible couple, and i think i return to writing about them as much as i do because i think they have a ton of potential as narrative mirrors and as characters with a rich well of tension but also devotion between them. as i say a lot, i think one of the things the harry/ginny pairing does refreshingly well compared to other romantic lead couples in YA fiction is show a couple that, at heart, genuinely get on very well, have a laugh together and enjoy each other's company in completely mundane lovely day-to-day ways (laundry and taxes u know). i think that's a striking and refreshing dynamic that i like to spend time fleshing out and playing with and writing about. but i can also see that there is an inconsistency in jkr's character work here, particularly her character work writing female characters, of which ginny is among the most acute examples.
#this is one of those ones where i realised i cared deeply about this halfway through#and then it all got away from me#it was important i got the soapbox out!#it was getting real dusty!#meta#ginny weasley#hinny
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Can't Keep Quiet
Contents: Kwon Jae-Sung x Reader - explicit content: MDNI - fingering (f! receiving) - piv - clitoral play - pet names(pretty girl, sweet girl etc) - ooc
Word Count: 1,259
A/N: This isn’t proofread and I was writing this at midnight so it’s not my best
You lay in bed waiting for your boyfriend to finally finish showering, unfortunately for your Kwon was taking his sweet time with showering. Because of both of you having to train for Sekai Taikai, you weren't able to spend time with him. Though you were still technically with each other you couldn’t kiss and hug your boyfriend then. He always said to not do it since he wasn’t comfortable with PDA, not that you minded but you wholeheartedly believed it was so he could keep the tough guy act up.
So now you lay in bed waiting for him, cuddling with one of the several pillows he had on the edge of the bed. You sighed, you missed his presence plus he was always easy on the eyes, so not seeing his pretty face made you miserable. However, you finally heard the water turn off, and out stepped your Kwon.
Your entire face heated up as you saw him only step out with a towel around his midriff. If you didn't know any better you best believe you would've already pounced on him. As Kwon’s eyes settled on his girlfriend he noticed what you were staring at.
“Sweet girl, what are you looking at, hm?” He said teasingly while you snapped out of your trance.
“What? I dunno what you're talking about Kwon.” You said acting as if you'd been wrongly accused of something.
“Oh, is that so?” He said uninterested knowing you were just going to keep denying it.
“Yes.”
“That’s a shame, you know I was planning on showing you something.” He said turning his back to you while he grabbed some clothes to put on.
You immediately sat up from laying on the bed, while your boyfriend chuckled at your enthusiasm to know.
“What is it!” You asked excitedly looking at your boyfriend's back before he finally turned to face you again.
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“Come on Kwon, please?” You said crawling to the edge of the bed then you stepped on the floor and wrapped your arms around your pretty Kwon.
“Fine, just lay back in bed.”
You listened to him and laid back in bed waiting for him to give you more instructions. He got into bed with you, and as he got closer to you he started peppering kisses all over your face while you started giggling.
“Is this your surprise?” You asked as he finally pulled away and propped himself up with his elbow.
“No, it isn't.” He pressed a soft kiss on your lips.
“So what is it then?”
“I'll show you what my surprise is.” He said sweetly, then his hand slid under your shorts. Kwon hummed as he felt a small wet patch in your panties.
“K-Kwon.” You murmured as your face heated up.
“Oh, what's got my pretty girl so wet?” He asked teasingly as he dipped the tip of his digits inside your velvety warm walls.
You whined as he thrust his fingers inside of you slowly, and then he suddenly pulled them out of you. You were gonna tell him something before he unexpectedly pulled your shorts and panties down. You winced at the feeling of cold air hitting your cunt, though that was quickly dismissed when you saw Kwon’s cock hard and the tip was leaking pre-cum.
“Mm don’t wanna have a kid just yet with you.” He said, kissing your cheek and reaching for the condom on the nearby nightstand.
“Just yet? Is someone planning on settling down with his girlfriend?” You said as you watched him open the condom and then put it on his cock.
“You won’t be my girlfriend then, you’ll have the title of being my pretty little wife. How does that sound to you?” He asked, the look, tone, and body language showed he was completely genuine and it had you feeling satisfied.
“That sounds great.” You were about to continue speaking but instead, he slid the tip of his cock inside your tight entrance.
“Forgive me if this isn’t too good, you’re my first.” He said and his palms were slightly sweaty, the poor boy was nervous. Though he still buried himself to the hilt, and your cunt was gripping onto his cock as if not wanting to let go.
“Shit- Mmm so good” You whined, as he pulled up your shirt over your boobs. He looked like a deer stuck in headlight as he stared at them, even though they were covered by your bra it didn't matter to him.
“Mm lift yourself a bit.” He said sweetly to you. You listened though you were a bit curious as to why he asked, while he took off your shirt and then unclasped your bra letting your tits bounce free.
Your nipples hardened slightly at the feeling of cool air, and then Kwon tweaked a nipple between his fingertips. He kissed your lips a bit frantic, seeing as he immediately went to slip his tongue into your mouth.
He pulled away and slowly thrusts inside of your cunt, slowly he picked up the pace. You couldn't help but moan loudly as his cock hit your G-spot, you were about to rub your clit but he smacked your hand away. He looked as if you had disrespected him and instead, he started rubbing circles on your clit while you writhed. You tried keeping quiet but you just couldn't help it, his cock was so deep inside of you and it was hitting all the right spots. Gosh, it didn’t help that he was giving you double stimulation by rubbing your clit and fucking your cunt.
“Oh feels so good huh? Can’t keep quiet? You should be quiet, we don’t want anyone to hear me fucking your slutty cunt.” He said as he became more desperate with fucking your tight pussy.
You moaned loudly as he got the both of you close to cumming. Finally, the knot in your tummy came undone and you creamed all over his cock. You whined at the feeling of emptiness and then you felt your cum was trickling down your ass.
“K-Kwon.” You said tiredly the pillows on the edge of the bed had long fallen off.
However, Kwon kissed your cheek, and then he went to the bathroom to grab you a wet and warm towel to clean you up. He came back cleaning up your cunt with the wet towel and you whimpered as your cunt still felt sensitive. He sat you up and gave you some water to drink, he knew you wanted to sleep, so Kwon finally put you under the blankets and he got under them too, though you were lying on your tummy and about to fall asleep.
“Only 15 minutes then you have to go and pee because I don’t want you to get a UTI.” You smiled at his sweet words. He genuinely cares about you.
You only nodded and fell asleep and though you were woken up every once in a couple of hours to piss, you don’t mind knowing it was because he cared about you that he did this for you.
-
It was now morning and Kwon had left you in the hotel room to bring you something to eat. However, his classmates were in the hallway and seemed a bit intrigued. Yoon was the first to ask who he was fucking last night but Kwon rolled his eyes and focused and getting you food. Although he was going to tell you that you should be more quiet.
A/N: he’s so cute I wanna eat him up
#kwon jae sung#Kwon Jae-Sung smut#kwon jae sung x reader#kwon x reader#CK#Cobra Kai#3rizuwrites#CKQONE-SHOT
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to be honest i didn't think anything in season 1 felt like bloat or filler. i felt that everything they showed us was really integral to the show and plot as a whole. like you said, not a single second of screen time was wasted.
so that's why i feel like season 2 was a bit rushed. or maybe rushed isn't the right term, but what i feel is that there was so much more left to be explored and so much that happened off screen that i think should've been shown to serve the plot. i agree that the writers made fantastic work of the time they were given, but there were so many implied scenes that should've been shown to us.
on your point regarding i wish there was more time for these characters being a huge compliment rather than a criticism; i think it is both. yes you're right it means the writers and creative team did a really good job to have us wanting more, but there are definitely some instances where such a sentiment is indicative of a plot issue and that the characters were not done justice in their overall arcs. so yes sevika was a well written complex character whom i wanted to see more of, but i wanted to see more of her bc i don't feel like her story was fleshed out enough. again not that i fault the writers, i fault the time they were given. sevika was a loudly outspoken kingmaker who would do anything for zaun in season 1, and in her final moments we got her clubbing some robots and joining the council without a word.
if sevika or any of the other characters show up in the other shows that would be great. but a finished show should not have you feeling like characters weren't developed as much as they needed to be and that's why you want them to show up elsewhere. it is a hard task to wrap up every single character and story line i know, trust me i know. writing and animating is fucking hard, i would know. but that's why i think a 4th act should've been added. i think that would've helped a lot of the pacing issues.
part of respecting an artist's or writer's work is being able to constructively criticise. i think people do a great disservice to creatives when they put their works on a pedestal. and my constructive criticism for season 2 is that there simply wasn't enough time.
so is anyone else really disappointed with how little screen time sevika got in act 3... i mean giving her a poster and saying her story continues in act 3 just for her to have just over a minute of screen time with no actual dialogue lines feels so bad
im obviously glad she didn't die and that she's now on the council and ready to continue fighting for zaun but man she really suffered from the lack of time the writers had :( what a waste of a complex character
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Guess what? I'm finally back with more Makuta
A Makuta with a lower body that resembled a large centipede. They resided over a mountainous forested region and terrorized the locals with frightening rahi that went bump in the night. They made their base in a cavern at the bottom of a well that had struck a vein of energized protodermis. They used this to "enhance" some of their most frightening creations to be more effective terrors. Local villagers eventually had enough and tried to hunt this Makuta down. The hunting party was whittled down until the survivors confronted the Makuta at the bottom of the well. During the battle this Makuta fell into the energized protodermis, being destroyed in the process and ending their reign of terror.
The Makuta who resided over the homeland of Johmak's people, setting themselves up in a large crystalline cavern. They specialized in rahi that either had organic crystals in their composition or existed in symbiosis with them. Harvested by GSR Teridax.
A Makuta who instead of beasts or plants, created fungi and fungal creatures. Some of their creations were capable of spreading highly deadly spores. Said creations where at one point considered for the position of "very destructive but plausibly deniable rahi legion", which would eventually be given to the Visorak. Due to the destructive and insidiously subtle capabilities their creations possessed, the OOMN eventually had this Makuta killed.
#bionicle#makuta ocs#fun fact the first one is a design concept I've now had for months#but literally wasn't able to think of anything else for until very recently#so good to finally have them fully accounted for#feels great being able to write these again#I have so many now
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Leafs vs Rangers | 4.13.23
#toronto maple leafs#mitch marner#egifs#hockeyedit#did anyone order the sad mitch marner???? anyone?/#not to overproject here but just. fuckin g IMAGINE coming that close......#and then... ur team wins. and hits 50 wins for the second time. and yay rah rah its a group win and ur going out on a high#but u personally fall short again#after years before.. being on pace for even MORE points.. and here u have a season where u stayed completely healthy... played 80 fucking#games and only missed 2 for load management and you cant even pull it off when u need to most#on the verge of even more greatness.. when its felt like YOUR YEAR..... .. so close to being just the fucking 4th maple leaf in history....#bruh thats so fucking sad. im so sad for him.... mitch is someone who says what he needs to say in the media but#admitting that its something he wants. clearly.... a personal goal and not being able to do it.... having to turn around and be happy for a#anyway. im just gonna go write essays to myself abt mitch marner and falling short (or at least FEELING that way)#(when its personal goals u set urself and ur trying to join greats but its never good enjougjkd.. u can never break THROUGH)#this years ur year mitch. its comng for u in the playoffs#anyway. sorry
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(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)
I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.
On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"
With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-
for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)
skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa
I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.
(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)
the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-
and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"
Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."
Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"
And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"
"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."
And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.
He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.
Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq
#one piece#usopp#whole cake island#nemotime#that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol#the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my#'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good#im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate)#i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this.#if anyone's got other ideas im all ears#edit from like march 7: thinking about this again#maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e#but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue#but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run.#at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit#because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl#to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend#and it's going to be all his fault. (again)#[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house]#later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting#until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow.#a sniper's duty and all#anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here#wci usopp
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ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it
#i get suddenly hit with a tsunami of inspiration and an urgency to Make Something#but the urgency isn't about the process of making it's about I Have Stories To Present Too. I have to See Them Realized.#and that hit of urgency is obviously far too short lived to make anything. esp since it comes in a set with a feeling of 'wow this-#-thing was so great' that transforms into intensified perfectionism of No No What Im Doing Here Isnt Good. What Is This. Disgrace-#-to my idea AND to what inspired it AND to my self proclaimed status as an amateur storyteller#which turns into artblock. so like low chances that ill even get a singular good drawing made during this#and the multiple comic or script or whatever ideas that appear in my head during this are out of the question entirely#oh and all of this appears next to the normal feelings caused by a good story like attachment to the characters and having to process it-#-for a while and if its very good then even sometimes rarely i get the need to make fanart#so all of this combined just leads to me not being able to do anything for a while and feeling awful about it.#fun./sar#i wish i was a normal artist people here are so resilient and do stuff even though they dont want to or they DO want to#because idk they enjoy being pissed bcs of a thing not turning out right and they dont mind how tedious it can get-#-and they enjoy sacrificing hours&days&months of their lives without a guarantee that anyone will appreciate it accordingly and itll pay of#its probably the resilience though#im weak like a dried twig both mentally and physically#this sounds like i never enjoyed drawing&writing ever. and to clarify thats far from true. i frequently enjoy it#just never frequently enough and consistently enough to actually make something more 'worthwhile' or linear#it's like a wind that comes & goes that i have no control over.#i try to keep telling myself that in the past i struggled to make anything 'bigger'....& know i even made animatic shitposts#this sounds so stupid god. an animatic shitpost being an achievement.#its not an art skill achievement its a fighting tooth and nail with my own self to actually finish it because its a struggle almost every-#-time achievement#what im saying is im trying to tell myself that i already improved. im doing more than i could have done in the past.#even if the process is so slow and i dont know when ill advance again#if ill advance again. i just gotta believe i guess? thank u parappa
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.
#y'all my anxiety has me spiraling as of late because it just feels like my whole life is falling apart at this point#i got fired from my job a couple of months ago and i've been scrambling to try and find a new one#i work part time at a store i really love but it pays shit#and i've had all of these interviews and no one wants to hire me and i just feel unhireable at this point and it's hard not to despair#and on top of that i'm struggling with my self esteem again#i know i'm not ugly per se but i'm struggling with feeling confident in the way i look as a big girl#and all of my old insecurities are rearing their ugly heads and i want to cry just thinking about it#and i feel like such a failure right now even though i know that life has its ups and downs but my stupid brain just won't chill#and i don't really have any friends in the area because they all either moved away or didn't live here to begin with#and i'm tired of living at home because of my stupid student loans and not being able to afford to live on my own#i have one person i hang out with and we just met and i don't want to scare them off because they're a great friend and person#and i just feel like i'm never going to meet anybody who's going to love me the way i want to be loved because of my looks#also because it's me. and i feel like i'm so flawed as a person that no one will ever fall in love with me#and i've just been feeling really alone lately and i'm trying to do things to make me feel better but it's just so HARD right now#and i love writing because it gives me a chance to explore some of my feelings and it's something i genuinely love to do#and i'm sitting here waiting for the day things start to get better. and i know we all joke and i'm gonna sounds so dumb for saying this#but i feel like i was meant to be famous? or do something great idk and it's something everyone has always told me#and idk if my feelings of inadequacy are because of that or what but i'm scared that my life is going to mean nothing in the end#anyway this was a lot and you can pretend like you didn't read it. i just wanted to write some of my feelings down
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Apparently, today's brainrot of choice is a Golden Girls Sound of Music AU where Rose is Maria, Dorothy's the Captain, and Blanche is the Baroness, only that one scene where the Baroness visits Maria in her bedroom ends very differently & they end up in a polycule
#i'm afraid i'm sending this one into the void but i was singing edelweiss on my way to the supermarket when this thought popped up#and it has *not* let go of me since#i'm sorry but this just seems perfect for them when you consider it!!#rose seems like she would 100% be the type to be mesmerized by nuns (and their singing)#only to find out after joining the convent that she absolutely is Not the right type to be a nun#(she would absolutely be found singing and humming everywhere. her tendency to hum is a canon fact!! and she's great with children!!)#dorothy would be a widow rather than a divorcee in this case & i guess stan was still a yutz (but with money this time)#it's been 2 years or so since he died and she's been absolutely torn with guilt over how *free* she feels without him#(she thinks she ought to feel sad like any good widow but she doesn't. just like she felt she should've loved him during their marriage#but she also couldn't of course.#so i'm guessing she has this sense of ''if i wasn't able to love you the way i should have when you lived#then at least i should grieve you as i ought to now that you're dead.''? so she spends her time being... well. we've all seen the captain#because she doesn't feel like she's *allowed* to experience joy anymore#which is when Rose shows up and slowly brings love and life and music back into the household!!)#Blanche as the baroness feels pretty self explanatory to me#but i think for additional conflict she's a widow who was very happily married#(everyone thinks she married for money & rank but it really was love. SO MUCH of it)#and the very first person Blanche falls for again is Dorothy. so of course she sees Rose as a threat the first time they meet#but when she sees how much Rose genuinely loves Dorothy (and how *good* Rose is for her!!) Blanche slowly falls in love with her too#i have SO MANY thoughts about this au lol i'm kind of starting to wish i had the motivation to write it :')#the golden girls#golden wives#rose nylund#dorothy zbornak#blanche devereaux
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[Coping with Loneliness and Cracks in Control]
Ah, it’s happening again. This irritating habit of leaving the body alone But there’s no one here either. It’s youyouyou no matter how much you call. (so cavernous it echoes) so stop doing it Your mind has been cracked open over and over again with every repair the damage worsens how long? “Tuvok, how do you do it?” desperately. The Vulcan mind is a fascinating thing. Mysterious. Resilient. Much like the Vulcan people - it can survive much worse than this. “Give me all you’ve got!” because I’m empty empty empty desperately. Meditate. Sort it out. Hm? Isn’t this too much for less than half a person? I can’t live like this. What other choice do you have? [A Mind Meld - Desperately]
#Tuvok#my writing#bea art tag#-guy who's about to say some wild bullshit-.........so hear me out#Vulcans are born with bonds. They're bonded with their parents who in turn have their own bonds and it reaches back as long as Vulcans have#existed - they're a culture of bonds and telepathy who derive affection and comfort and peace THROUGH this bonds#(evidenced by the 'flame' of pon farr being 'put out' through bonding with another Vulcan)#I'm sure a great amount of control and satisfaction is derived through them. Also as I've stated before Tuvok & T'Pel consider themselves as#part of one another in a more extreme way than human romantic partners (two bodies one mind)#so when Tuvok is thrown into the delta quadrant he loses all of these bonds ('They are a part of me and I feel incomplete without them') <-#to me 'incomplete' here isn't an emotion like a human would experience it but like...literally if someone took half your brain and shot four#holes in what was left of it. If you've operated 60 something years thinking in tandem with another person then losing them would be losing#a great deal of yourself. And it's not like Tuvok has other bonds to fall on like he might on Vulcan if this occured - he's got NO ONE#he has humans and other aliens surrounding him but they aren't Vulcan and he doesn't bond with any of them telepathically but you know what#he does do?? like a notable amount?? mind melds#and also have his brain invaded by forces he didn't consent to#this combination makes me think about Tuvok who is so desperately lonely and also afraid - the first Vulcan without bonds - making it all up#as he goes along bc he has to (everyone has to) and bc he has no one he can confide in that would understand or really be able to help him#in tandem afraid of his mind being out of his control and wanting himself to feel whole again even if only momentarily - even he's#attatching himself to someone who will only worsen his mental strain (bc he has no excuse to mind meld with someone who's healthy - though#it would be beneficial to him as we see that's a treatment to trauma canonically)#Tuvok (suffering from tremendous alien forms of trauma that he keeps exposing himself to voluntarily in a move that is all at once#self-soothing and self harm): I do not require assistance. I am Vulcan.#If the writer's aren't going to explore Tuvok's inner world then listen. LISTEN. /I AM!!!!!!/#I'M GONNA DO IT EVEN IF IT MAKES ME LOOK STUPID#I hope any of this made sense#st voyager#st voyager art#Tuvok art#comix
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